The day I met Emo Amy

I was sitting in class re-reading my favorite book, "The boy who cried for love" today.

It's my favorite book.

It's about a boy who lies about being attacked by a pack of pussy cats so he could be loved by everyone, then they didn't believe him anymore and they scratched the shit outta him.

It's my most favoritest 5 page book ever.

It always brings a smile to my face.

before i could finish the last page, my teacher mr.rawrrawr made an announcement.

"Students today, you will have a new student name Amy"

a girl wearing a all black skirt with a all black shirt with a skull on it.

She had black hair with dark red highlights that covered the left side of her face.

She abused eye liner soo much, that you think your looking at two black holes in the depths of space that her eyes draw you in and suck you into oblivion

oh god, if only you could see the boner I had when i looked at her

"Now class, this is Amy. I dunno her last name, and its obvious that I don't give a fuck about it."

after those words all I heard was blah blah blah.

she was looking at me

and I was looking at her

we were in a trance, hypnotized

i could see myself running through a field of beautiful daffodils with her, lawn mowers in our hands to run over the flowers. emos hate daffodils.

"Amy, you can sit by that thing over there, his names andy. I'm sure you both can fit in together, you lil emo muthafuckerz"

My heart jumped so fast after that last sentence, I also jumped.

I was shaking my head and my body yelling YES YES YES!!
I started rubbing myself in disturbing ways and rubbing my face.
"OH GOD YESSSS!!!" I moaned.

"Shut the fuck up and sit cho ass down!"
"THE FUCK IS THAT SPAN DOING?"
"WHAT'S HE ON?"
"THAT NIGGA SPITTED ON MY DESK!"

I stopped after someone threw their scissors at me and sat down quietly.

Amy sat next to me smliing at me.

I smiled back at her.

Thats what we did throuhgout the rest of the hour.


When lunch came we sat together.

We ate together.

I was happy.

I knew she was happy because she threw her emo knife into someone's sandwhich and got sent to the emergency room asap.

We walked home together.

We kissed together.

I grew bore of her.

When I got to her house I told her i was sorry, I couldn't see my 2 year lifespan ending with suicide with her in it.

She broke down and cried out black stuff.

I was all like, ewwwww and just left.

When I got home I layed down on my bed and started groping myself.

I heard a tapping on my window and looked out.

I saw amy there doin something disturbing

there was a red heart out on the grass

i was like omfg, my dads gonna rape the shit outta me

iopened the window and told her to get the fuck out

she told me she loves me

i told her your scary as fuck

I didn't see her again til later tonight as i'm typing this.

i was sleeping when I heard moaning noises.

i looked up and they were getting louder and disturbing, yet made me get a boner.

i saw amy standing right beside me with her hand down her pants

i looked at her as she made funny faces while she was looking at me

"whaoh, you must have a bad itch to put your hand down there like that"

but i later realized

she wasn't scratching at all.

i screamed out a lil sissy cry

my mom ran in and yelled SHUT THE FUCK UP. I LETTED HER IN SO YOU WOULDN'T CRY IN YOUR SLEEP AGAIN. GET SOME PUSSY AND GET YOUR ASS BACK TO SLEEP.

but I didn't want pussy.

I didn't even knew what a pussy is

all I knew was that she was playing with her girly thang.

btw thats what i call it, a girly thang.

"i love you andy" she says

she held out a knife and gave it to me

i smiled.

"omg, i love you too"

then the sun came out

she turned around and looked deeply into it

"OMFG, ITZ THE SUN? IMA SIZZLE IF I DONT GET OUT OF IT FOSHIZZLES"

she jumped out the window and staggered back home.

what a weird bitch.

Anger Management

My mother woke me up with mouse traps

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was mad.

My father used up all the hot water to make his instant noodles.

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was mad.

My father used my school clothes as napkins

I was mad.

Iw as really really mad.

I was mad.

We ran out of milk today for cereal.

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was mad.

My father unzipped his pants, made milk and forcibly made me eat it.

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was mad.

I was late for the bus.

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was mad.

I walked back in the house.

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was mad.

My father made extra cereal with milk.

I was mad.

I was REALLY REALLY MAD.

I was mad.

I unzipped my pants.

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was mad.

I gave him my milk in return.

I was mad.

I was really really mad.

I was glad.

School field trip 1

I was writing in my emo diary about how I had to sleep in the dog house last night, because my mother told me if I don't stop acting like a bitch and keep whining about how my dad doesn't whipe the toilet seat, i'd have to go out and sleep like a bitch, when my teacher announced we're going on a field trip.

my teacher mr. pickle said we're going on a trip to see the band the Samantha Isac Sunshine Super Youths, or their acronym S.I.S.S.Y group.

I don't get why we would even wanna see them

their songs like, totally sucks.

their new hit single, LOVING JESUS AIN'T HOMO has been stuck in the radio for days, and it's making my eyeliner leak.

their last albulm LETS MAKE LOVE WITH EVERYONE is very stupid.
at first i thought it was a pornographic song when I bought it because it had a whole bunch of kids holding each other and stuff.

then when i popped it into my computer to listen to it while i pulled my pants down with the lotion at hand, i screamed. after i screamed my dad ran up and looked at me saying "Is it that time already?" then he pulled his pants down too.

"Okay class, today we're gonna head out now so lets goooo!"

when we got there, i had to go change into my extra pair of clothes i brought along. because my bus driver has a really bad bladder and whenever he needs to go pee, he just goes on me. I have no problem with that, i'm use to having men pull down their pants and ejaculate liquids at me.

as we walked into the dome where the concerts held, i saw many other people that are the opposite of me

everyone was wearing every color of the rainbow, from blue to yellow, green to red, orange to purple, it was like a kaleidoscope my grandma gave me when she died. she loved that kaleidoscope alot. then my mom broked it because i stole her pads to whipe the blood off my wrists.

when i got to my seat i was sitting and waiting for the stupid Samantha Isaac to perform, when a whole bunch of kids in colored t shirts surrounded me asking me why am i here.

"why are you wearing black?"
"guys don't wear mascara you fag!"
"why the fuck do you smell like piss?"
"GO BACK TO HELL YOU DEMON!"

eventually a security guard came by and kicked me out

his reason was that one of the kids from the group said that I was graffitiging the walls and smearing feces in the toilet seats, plus kicking grandma's in their saggy tits.

i decided to hitchhike after being kicked out the dorm, and my bus driver wouldn't let me in because he said i kill the mood when he brings his prostitutes on the bus while the students and teachers are out on the fieldtrips

so i decided to hitchhike home

i had to wait for two hours til i can get on the bus again

because apparently, you can't get hitchhiked if you smell like urine.