The playground bullies

I went out to recess today because my principal told me that kids make friends in recess while playing out in the sun and get scraped when they slip and fall

he likes it when kids slip and fall

their asses stick up in the air

he likes asses.

i like asses too.


I walked up to the swing sets to wait in line to get on the swings.

something abuot the swings makes an emo kid wanna fly and i wanna fly because when everyone will look up at me and be like "WHOAH WTFUX IS DAT"

while i was waiting these two guys came up to me, Tim and Jason.

Jason was like
"Ew wtf is that pants shitter doing here"

i only shitted my pants once when mr. rawr rawr wanted to give me a personal inspection during free flu shot day and i pulled my pants down for him to look at and i accidently poop-ied all over his bare lap becausae he also pulled his pants down too.

tim was like
"ew omfg hes crying, why the fuck are you crying pants shitter?"

i wasn't even crying

i accidently came in my pants when they walked over and i tried cleaning it up and my hands got really dirty so i whiped it on my face

jason pushed me onto the ground and was like
"EW WTF, WHYS HE ALL WET"

tim picked me up and i slipped out of his hands and it was like
"EW HES ALL SLIMEY AND GROSS"

i whiped on my shirt too because i started tasting something squirmy in my mouth and i didn't wanna releive the same taste at home when my daddy gives it to me every sunday on GODS DAY.

they started throwing sand at me and i think they know that sand is every emo's weakness because sand can put out fire and fire is HOT and emo's are hot too.

tim walked over and put his hand on my shoulder and whispered
"hey, i don't mean to hurt you. i think you should give me a call and uhh we'll talk about this over some pina colada."

jason walked over and was like

"TIM, WHY ARE YOU BITING HIS EAR? ONLY YOU CAN BITE ON MY EARS!"

tim walked over and had his hands on his hips and was like,
"Jason, like honey, we've talked about this before and this has like, totally gotta stop."

"Stop what tim? I thought being bullies would conceal our sexuality, but I totally guess that was wrong."

"tim, well your wrong, just like how wrong you were when you told me the condem wasn't expired."

"WELL HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW TIM, WHO READS THOSE BEFORE YOU GET LAID?"

"I DO JASON. I DO."

"WELL STFU TIM I HATE YOU."

"WELL JASON, I HATE YOU AND YOUR NEED A PERM LOOKIN ASS."

i was going to kill myself.

they kept talking and talking and talking in those shrill female voices that reminds me of sanjaya.

i yelled out a cry for help and a symbol of an E came up in the sky and then 5 groups of kids in tacky black clothes came out with bad use of makeup.

jason and tim turned around and was like
"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE??"

and they said they were the Emo Five!

this asian girl with yucky pink hair jumped out and was lke

"MY NAME IS DEAD SOULS FROM UNDER THE DESK!"

a big blak guy came out and was like

"MY NAME IS A DARK BEING FROM A DARK BEING"

a pale white dude came out and was like

"THEY CALL ME THE MINTY TIC TAC"

and this other white chick with blonde hair came out and was like

"THEY CALL ME THE DARK MAGICIAN!"

and this latino dude with blue hair came out and was like

"ME LLAMO EDUARDO!"

then after that they called jason and tim faggots and jumped them til they straightened up.